He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
