He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
