I am puke
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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