After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
