Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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