I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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