It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
