mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
