she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
