uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
