dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
