"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
