people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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