I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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