idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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