i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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