We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
