Jerry, you need to find god
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
