Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
