why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
