Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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