My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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