I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
