rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I still have a little drunk in my system
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He did a backflip because drugs
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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