Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
