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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
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