The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
