i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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