we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
