fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize