Nicole vs. Life
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
