forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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