Tell her she can't have a vagina
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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