id be glad to
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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