I'm lost and stupid without you.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
