Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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