We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
