I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
