Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
