my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I had to cum in my sink.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
