Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
