She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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