with your own penis?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
