maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
