Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL