47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
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I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
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I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.