Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
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I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen