I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.