She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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