obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
