a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
