Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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