i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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