I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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