your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
