So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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