I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Drake has all the answers
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
