i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
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I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
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it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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