What did we do last night that was yellow?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
