I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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