just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm jealous of your bromance
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
