she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
