For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
